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3 Secret Ways to Control Child’s Anger

angry girl screaming

Anger is an increasing trend in children all over the world. As per many studies and research, the children are showing more aggression, irritability, and anger. However, anger is one of the parts of a bouquet of emotions. But when these emotions go uncontrollable, they create a lot of stress and agony for oneself and others. For parents, it is very important to learn to control child’s anger

The medication would not be able to fix this problem. Approaches that have parents and children working together are essential to help this situation. Thus it has become crucial for parents to understand the problem from roots and make their children learn how to control their anger before it turns destructive.

 And, the good news is that children can learn some vital life skills to help them control their anger.

 Emotion Regulation and Behaviour Management are skills that develop slowly over time during childhood. By providing little assistance, parents can help children to learn and practice these skills.

 So Dear Parents, this article is a ray of hope for all of you as it will aid you to understand the reasons behind anger issues and will gift you 3 Secret ways to guide children for Anger Control.

 The first step is to recognize how they express their Anger:

  • When children are angry, they cannot control their temper, so they start screaming and crying. 
  • In the fury of anger, they throw things and become very violent. 
  • Children also throw tantrums in anger so that parents are attracted and fulfill their demands. 
  • They blame others for all their follies, and they stop listening to anybody. 
  • They procrastinate the talks and do not want to resolve amicably. 
  • The situation becomes very precarious. Sometimes, some children who cannot bust out their anger show symptoms of depression and internal anxiety. 
  • They usually cut themselves off from everybody by shutting in their rooms.

 The second step is to find out what is triggering them for anger:

 Reasons why a child gets angry?

 1. Genetic factors

Genetics and biological factors also play a role in aggression. As a genetic condition, Children also develop anger behavior if their parents and grandparents have anger issues. However, most experts also agree that anger is a learned behavior, and if family members can control their anger, they can break the chain of anger that is being passed along through the generations. 

 2. Frustrated of unfulfilled desires

When the parents refuse to fulfill the undue demands of the child, it makes them susceptible to anger and tantrums.

 Some Children have a habit of demanding new things very often, ranging from toys to phones and gadgets, and when parents deny, they start angry outbursts. From childhood, parents need to make children understand what is important for them and learn to obey parents to help control child’s anger. Because even the sacred Bhagavad Gita says that unfulfilled desire leads to anger and frustration. 

 3. Child feel Ignored

Children need the attention and time of parents to speak their heart out, to discuss their day, and enjoy their company. If the parents are not able to give time, or they give more time to the other child, the child feels ignored and rejected. Parents are also required to build a strong bond between siblings . They start feeling that parents don’t love and care for them, nobody focuses on them, and they are left alone, which triggers their anger for retaliation. 

 4. Abuse and Shame

 Parents try to discipline by speaking harsh statements to their children. They would slap the child hard if he didn’t listen to them. Sometimes they start correcting and punishing their child in public in front of everyone. Holistic Communication is required between the Parent and Child to build a strong connection and to control child’s anger otherwise When the child feels abused and shamed, they become disconnected and start showing anger. 

 5. Ineffective Parenting style

 Good Parenting requires a constant need for learning, which parents usually ignore. Most parents were born in the previous century, where they lived in joint families, having 15 -20 kids in one family. But today, the scenario has changed. 

Children are born in the 21st century and live in nuclear families. Thus, parenting ways are becoming ineffective because the parents are not learning anything to understand the child’s psychology, what they need. This weak bond with parents has become one of the significant reasons for anger in a child. Every parent requires complete knowledge of Holistic parenting so that their children can be nurtured in the right way.

 6. Do not want interference

 As children grow up, they want a certain kind of independence in making their own decisions. They go through different situations and try to take control of their lives because they feel no one can understand them or what they want to do. Out of concern and care, parents try to guide and help their child, but children consider it interference and get annoyed, which becomes a reason for their anger.

 7. Child malnutrition

 “Child’s mental health is closely connected to their physical health” – an essential aspect that everybody ignores. 

Today children are eating junk food, which is less in nutrition value and high in sugar, artificial food additives, and trans fats, which is an apparent reason behind child’s aggression and behavioral issues. 

 Due to a lack of proper energy, children show anger and frustration towards others because their bodies have no strength to manage things. 

 8. Parents are showing anger on the child

Parents take out their stress and frustrations on their children. Also, parents often become angry with their children whenever they fail to obey them and satisfy their expectations. 

 Children learn what they observe and are likely to exhibit that same behavior. In this way, parents are passing anger on to their children.

Building a strong connection with children will help them understand parents

 9. ADHD child

 Many children are ADHD syndrome, especially those who experience hyperactivity, have trouble controlling their behavior. They may find it very hard to follow instructions or switch from one activity to another, making them angry.

 10. Do not want to work

 During childhood, in the name of love and care, the parents help a child with all the homework and project work, making the child dependent on them and decreasing their capability to do their job. 

When the child grows up and has to do work, they get angry because they think someone should help them in every task.

Therefore, It is really important to make children cooperative from childhood

 The final step is to learn and implement

 3 Secret ways to help your child control the anger

  1. Cool down & Talk: 

Sometimes, the situation arises where the child becomes irritable and starts misbehaving by using foul language. In such circumstances, the parents also lose their temper and become intolerant. Such a response from parents spoils the grip over the issue. Blaming and shaming become part and parcel of such heated arguments.

The parents should remain composed in such a situation. They should behave normally, do not blame or shame, and learn to handle child’s foul language. After some time, when everything cools down, then the parents should sit down with the child. Have a healthy talk and discuss his daily life. He likes when you discuss something which he adores the most. Ask the reason for his anger politely. Please find out the reason which irritates him and work for an amicable solution.

Implementing this tip effectively parents will be able to control child’s anger

2. Name the feeling: 

Whenever a child becomes furious or upset over something, the best way out is that the parents should name their feelings. They should tell, “oh, are you feeling angry” or you can say, ” I think that you are upset.” 

Parents feel that if we name the emotions, the situation will worsen, or the child will feel bad. In contrast, the reverse happens when we tell the child about their feelings. Their mind can understand their feelings. Soon they come out of it and control their emotions. 

It is pretty challenging to take this step because the parents would have to come out of their thoughts and feelings and adequately understand their child’s feelings. This method is very effective as any human being comes out of their feelings rapidly. This technique is a significant step before the mutual arguments deteriorate the environment at home. It will be really helpful to control child’s anger

3. Praise & revisit: 

The next vital step in reducing the frequency of such instances is to appreciate the child’s good actions when things become cool. Sit with the child after a few days and revisit the whole event that day. Discuss what went wrong. Do not clarify too much or give the lecture. Just listen more. 

Ask the child about what could be done. Also, discuss the strategy by which he can control his anger or remind him that he doesn’t have to outburst his emotions. 

The parents should not avoid such discussions as they are a very decent way to resume the bond within the family. Do not forget to end such talk with something sweet, may with a scoop of ice cream.

A very easy yet effective tip to control child’s anger

If you want to treat this problem from roots, you should join the Holistic Parenting Palan level Courses. All these courses will empower you to be a perfect parent and carve a bright and responsible child. This course will also improve your family bonding and love within the family.

To conclude, the aggression in children is showing an upward trend. Due to this anger, the entire family is disturbed. We must learn intelligent methods to ease out. If the parents follow these points, they can help the child overcome irritable and aggressive behavior.

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How to prepare children for going back to school

prepare children for going back to school

COVID-19 refuses to become old news. Just when we thought things were settling down, the second wave hit us. And now, as we prepare for the inevitable third wave, each day a new dimension of the pandemic unveils its ugly face. Oxygen shortage, ventilator shortage, inexplicably expensive medicines, hospital beds only for those with friends in high places, black fungus and long-lasting impact on the health of those who manage to survive. 

And these are all things of the past. We still have at least a couple more waves to go!

Impact of Covid on Education System

A gut-clenching impact that seems to have escaped our notice in this mayhem is the impact it will have on our children. As per UNICEF, schools for more than 168 million children have remained closed for a complete year globally. This means more than 168 million children have missed more than an entire academic session and will be missing more as the situation worsens. 

Students in Online Classes

Students who woke up at six in the morning to get ready and go to school now wake up at 10 am, turn on their laptops, mute their mikes and turn off their cameras. Day after day, as their teachers go through a laboriously created teaching plan, students eat, freshen up, or just fall back asleep, with the class still in session. Sometimes, it is not even the child but rather the parent attending the classes; aiming to teach it to their kid later. 

Problems in Going Back to the School

While it works for now, how are these children going to get back to the grind in a post-pandemic world? How can they be expected to adjust to a timetable that schedules their sleep, play, study, and eating habits? 

•          The schooling system is tough and much stricter as compared to parents who are already burdened with health issues, employment insecurity, hectic work-from-home schedules, and full-time care for children. 

•          Schools mainly aim at enforcing discipline, an aspect that not all parents can be expected to keep up with in such circumstances. So parents have less time to deal with children and children get a lot less attention than they would if they were going to school.

•          A student’s life is so heavily dependent on technology that he/she no longer knows how to maintain notebooks. As a result, when schools reopen, children won’t be able to submit work on time, won’t know how to jot down notes during lectures, and won’t be able to answer questions that their teacher asks during classes.

•          Even tests are mere MCQs, which can barely depict conceptual clarity. Written tests are at best open book tests, which don’t hold a candle to traditional tests in motivating students to become better learners. Unlike during online classes, they can no longer look up a question on the internet and answer.

A student lying face down, exhausted and frustrated with his online classes.

The reasons behind the problems

Two reasons could cause this:

1.        Lack of proper schedule: Despite all efforts of parents and schools, the children have lost their schedule. They are not having proper sleeping, Waking up, study or even playing schedule. Life has gone into lethargy.

2.        Loss of Social Skills: The children have lost their social skills. The skills to interact with teachers and elders and also the skills to make and cooperate with friends. They will either be too quiet or have too much energy, which is disruptive to a healthy classroom environment. Thus, the burden will then fall on the teacher to balance each student’s vastly contradicting emotional needs. 

3.        Wide gap: What is worse is that students now will be at least a year or two further ahead than where they were before the pandemic. They will have new teachers, making it harder for them to form an emotional connection with them. For younger children, the unfamiliar face and unfamiliar new class environment will make leaving their homes and their parents even harder. The younger students who were supposed to start kindergarten have finished it and moved on to the next class without learning the etiquette of sitting in a class, listening to a teacher’s instructions, or making friends. 

4.        Weak concepts: A student in second grade will be skipping to fourth grade, most likely have forgotten what he studied in second grade too. He is now distant from his friends, addicted to digital devices, and has a whole new syllabus to deal with. If he was not actively listening during online classes, he will have a weak base and will be forced to sandwich two to three years of education in one.   As these are formative years and require a lot of patience and time, it becomes a herculean task to deal with an entire generation facing this problem. 

5.        Uncertainties in Career: Teenagers who were supposed to pick streams and start mapping their careers have no means of guidance, as the calamity is unprecedented. The dates of exams are uncertain and the honesty in online exams is also questionable in many ways.

6.        Emotional Setback: Many children have lost their parents or grandparents and many relatives. This has caused a lot of mental trauma to the children. They are filled with fear and insecurities. Many parents are struggling with the pressures of getting laid off from work and so children also feel the pressure. This has brought mental chaos for all the children.

Traumatic situations for Poor children

Rural children in COVID are not getting the education properly.

This will be especially worse for children from rural households, who are on the receiving end of the digital divide. Children who have to go to bed hungry, are victims of malnutrition, stunting, and anemia (to name a few), are expected to have an internet connection and a smart device. And if there is more than one child in a household, there need to be just as many smart devices as classes happen simultaneously.

They will either never sit in a classroom again or find themselves much further back from their more privileged counterparts. The intellectual divide will make them susceptible to dropping out, perhaps much sooner than the average time of high school. These children have been engrossed in lending a hand to the household or being forced to go out and earn due to the pandemic. 

Rural children were already suffering from severe educational issues like lack of teacher turnout. This makes them much weaker in terms of literacy than their urban counterparts. Yet, they are expected to be well versed in operating a device that they cannot afford in the first place. Plus, if the children or their parents fall sick, they won’t attend classes even if they have the devices.

Education is a luxury to them, and they find themselves pushed so far away from it that many don’t even remember the names of their school, the class they studied in, or the teachers that taught them. 

What’s the solution to the problem of students

Children need counseling for going back to school.

•          Rehabilitation: The only solution shortly appears to be rehabilitation. Although that is not going to be easy. But the student needs to be rehabilitated by proper counseling about school.

•          Mental Preparation: You need to make the child mentally prepared to go to school. Tell them how the school would bring all the friends together, and they can have a lot of fun together. Make him remember his best times at school.

•          Scheduling: Parents can make a schedule almost according to the school. This will help children have a proper schedule as per the school, which should become a habit.

•          Motivate: Let them be excited to go to school where they can engage in so many co-curricular activities. They can participate in sports, music, art, and so many other activities. They can be their friends and enjoy their company.

•          Don’ts: Never tell threaten them regarding school. Don’t say that now you will improve only when the schools will start. They will become defensive regarding going to school. There are cases where children are even crying going to school. 

 

Everybody can understand the gravity of the situation that has arisen due to the Covid pandemic. This is an era where education has suffered the most. Now it’s time to prepare our children for their schools and formally and systematically resume their education. This would require preparation both from the end of school and also from the parents. Let’s work together to bring our derailed children on their track so that they can have a bright future.