Anger is an increasing trend in children all over the world. As per many studies and research, the children are showing more aggression, irritability, and anger. However, anger is one of the parts of a bouquet of emotions. But when these emotions go uncontrollable, they create a lot of stress and agony for oneself and others. For parents, it is very important to learn to control child’s anger
The medication would not be able to fix this problem. Approaches that have parents and children working together are essential to help this situation. Thus it has become crucial for parents to understand the problem from roots and make their children learn how to control their anger before it turns destructive.
And, the good news is that children can learn some vital life skills to help them control their anger.
Emotion Regulation and Behaviour Management are skills that develop slowly over time during childhood. By providing little assistance, parents can help children to learn and practice these skills.
So Dear Parents, this article is a ray of hope for all of you as it will aid you to understand the reasons behind anger issues and will gift you 3 Secret ways to guide children for Anger Control.
The first step is to recognize how they express their Anger:
- When children are angry, they cannot control their temper, so they start screaming and crying.
- In the fury of anger, they throw things and become very violent.
- Children also throw tantrums in anger so that parents are attracted and fulfill their demands.
- They blame others for all their follies, and they stop listening to anybody.
- They procrastinate the talks and do not want to resolve amicably.
- The situation becomes very precarious. Sometimes, some children who cannot bust out their anger show symptoms of depression and internal anxiety.
- They usually cut themselves off from everybody by shutting in their rooms.
The second step is to find out what is triggering them for anger:
Reasons why a child gets angry?
1. Genetic factors
Genetics and biological factors also play a role in aggression. As a genetic condition, Children also develop anger behavior if their parents and grandparents have anger issues. However, most experts also agree that anger is a learned behavior, and if family members can control their anger, they can break the chain of anger that is being passed along through the generations.
2. Frustrated of unfulfilled desires
When the parents refuse to fulfill the undue demands of the child, it makes them susceptible to anger and tantrums.
Some Children have a habit of demanding new things very often, ranging from toys to phones and gadgets, and when parents deny, they start angry outbursts. From childhood, parents need to make children understand what is important for them and learn to obey parents to help control child’s anger. Because even the sacred Bhagavad Gita says that unfulfilled desire leads to anger and frustration.
3. Child feel Ignored
Children need the attention and time of parents to speak their heart out, to discuss their day, and enjoy their company. If the parents are not able to give time, or they give more time to the other child, the child feels ignored and rejected. Parents are also required to build a strong bond between siblings . They start feeling that parents don’t love and care for them, nobody focuses on them, and they are left alone, which triggers their anger for retaliation.
4. Abuse and Shame
Parents try to discipline by speaking harsh statements to their children. They would slap the child hard if he didn’t listen to them. Sometimes they start correcting and punishing their child in public in front of everyone. Holistic Communication is required between the Parent and Child to build a strong connection and to control child’s anger otherwise When the child feels abused and shamed, they become disconnected and start showing anger.
5. Ineffective Parenting style
Good Parenting requires a constant need for learning, which parents usually ignore. Most parents were born in the previous century, where they lived in joint families, having 15 -20 kids in one family. But today, the scenario has changed.
Children are born in the 21st century and live in nuclear families. Thus, parenting ways are becoming ineffective because the parents are not learning anything to understand the child’s psychology, what they need. This weak bond with parents has become one of the significant reasons for anger in a child. Every parent requires complete knowledge of Holistic parenting so that their children can be nurtured in the right way.
6. Do not want interference
As children grow up, they want a certain kind of independence in making their own decisions. They go through different situations and try to take control of their lives because they feel no one can understand them or what they want to do. Out of concern and care, parents try to guide and help their child, but children consider it interference and get annoyed, which becomes a reason for their anger.
7. Child malnutrition
“Child’s mental health is closely connected to their physical health” – an essential aspect that everybody ignores.
Today children are eating junk food, which is less in nutrition value and high in sugar, artificial food additives, and trans fats, which is an apparent reason behind child’s aggression and behavioral issues.
Due to a lack of proper energy, children show anger and frustration towards others because their bodies have no strength to manage things.
8. Parents are showing anger on the child
Parents take out their stress and frustrations on their children. Also, parents often become angry with their children whenever they fail to obey them and satisfy their expectations.
Children learn what they observe and are likely to exhibit that same behavior. In this way, parents are passing anger on to their children.
Building a strong connection with children will help them understand parents
9. ADHD child
Many children are ADHD syndrome, especially those who experience hyperactivity, have trouble controlling their behavior. They may find it very hard to follow instructions or switch from one activity to another, making them angry.
10. Do not want to work
During childhood, in the name of love and care, the parents help a child with all the homework and project work, making the child dependent on them and decreasing their capability to do their job.
When the child grows up and has to do work, they get angry because they think someone should help them in every task.
Therefore, It is really important to make children cooperative from childhood
The final step is to learn and implement
3 Secret ways to help your child control the anger
- Cool down & Talk:
Sometimes, the situation arises where the child becomes irritable and starts misbehaving by using foul language. In such circumstances, the parents also lose their temper and become intolerant. Such a response from parents spoils the grip over the issue. Blaming and shaming become part and parcel of such heated arguments.
The parents should remain composed in such a situation. They should behave normally, do not blame or shame, and learn to handle child’s foul language. After some time, when everything cools down, then the parents should sit down with the child. Have a healthy talk and discuss his daily life. He likes when you discuss something which he adores the most. Ask the reason for his anger politely. Please find out the reason which irritates him and work for an amicable solution.
Implementing this tip effectively parents will be able to control child’s anger
2. Name the feeling:
Whenever a child becomes furious or upset over something, the best way out is that the parents should name their feelings. They should tell, “oh, are you feeling angry” or you can say, ” I think that you are upset.”
Parents feel that if we name the emotions, the situation will worsen, or the child will feel bad. In contrast, the reverse happens when we tell the child about their feelings. Their mind can understand their feelings. Soon they come out of it and control their emotions.
It is pretty challenging to take this step because the parents would have to come out of their thoughts and feelings and adequately understand their child’s feelings. This method is very effective as any human being comes out of their feelings rapidly. This technique is a significant step before the mutual arguments deteriorate the environment at home. It will be really helpful to control child’s anger
3. Praise & revisit:
The next vital step in reducing the frequency of such instances is to appreciate the child’s good actions when things become cool. Sit with the child after a few days and revisit the whole event that day. Discuss what went wrong. Do not clarify too much or give the lecture. Just listen more.
Ask the child about what could be done. Also, discuss the strategy by which he can control his anger or remind him that he doesn’t have to outburst his emotions.
The parents should not avoid such discussions as they are a very decent way to resume the bond within the family. Do not forget to end such talk with something sweet, may with a scoop of ice cream.
A very easy yet effective tip to control child’s anger
If you want to treat this problem from roots, you should join the Holistic Parenting Palan level Courses. All these courses will empower you to be a perfect parent and carve a bright and responsible child. This course will also improve your family bonding and love within the family.
To conclude, the aggression in children is showing an upward trend. Due to this anger, the entire family is disturbed. We must learn intelligent methods to ease out. If the parents follow these points, they can help the child overcome irritable and aggressive behavior.